Monthly Archives: October 2012

REALLY COACH?

What does this scenario remind you of: (note, this is high school…)

– Superstar running back not required to workout at practices. Has backup take routes/reps and he observes.

– Superstar running back not held to same standards for grades, or extra curricular activities such as boozing and bong hitting.

– Running Back #2 never misses a practice. Rarely (ever?) displays a negative attitude.

– RB2 actually delivers in game situations (umm, just last week actually…)

– RB2 approaches coach to express frustration at lack of play time.

– RB2 is shot down, told not V squad material “sent down” to JV.

– Coach claims RB2 is “not about team”

I’ll tell you what it sounds like, it sounds like:

a. Coach is confusing “team” for “me”

b. A tired old movie theme that includes the line “you tryin’ to ruin it for everyone son? Shut your mouth and get back to (fill in the blank) your post, work, the cotton, the field, the hole…”

c. A “test” for our young RB2?

What it doesn’t sound like:

a. A “teaching moment”

b. A program that is allegedly “outstanding”

I  know, football and karma don’t really go hand in hand…but you know – I’m a karma person, and a sports person, okay, and a pissed off mama/auntie bear (no, this isn’t my kid, note to followers…I’m trying reaaaal hard not to blog about my  own kids..but of course, will if it might entertain or bring a tear, but I digress.)

I kind of just thought that coaching at the High School level (this ain’t Texas after all y’all…) had evolved….what’s that you say? Stick to blogging about Youth Sports and quit crying like a big baby?  Fine, but mark my words – that ol’ karma can be a big, bad, bone crushing lineman…or worse…so we’ll be paying attention you big meat head coach…

Why I aughta….

Coaching Gems

Time to bring back: coaching gems.  Many of these are from days long past..the days when I knew I HAD to start a blog, but instead just kept notes, in a file, for the day I actually pulled the trigger.  That day has come…through “Coaching Gems” I’ll introduce you to some of the greats from our youth sports experience. Names have been changed (or slightly altered for amusement)  to protect the nutbags: Pete Humpden, Mr. JingALing, Matt Madderhorn, Rocko, Coach Chuckles – but also to not avoid the actual good guys (they’re out there, really!)  Coach A, Coach B, Coach L… Feel free to COMMENT and share your own gems – we’ll include whoppers contributed by the new and naive as well (thanks to my peeps out there who just signed their kids up for the inaugural year of bunch ball and t-ball!) Enjoy!

THE DAY MR. JING A LING THREW DOWN

Sport: boys baseball

Player Age: 12

Situation: The Rebels are in league playoffs, tensions are high.

Backgrounder and run up: Logically, there has been ego clashing in this dugout for months.  One coach fancies himself the Dr. Phil of coaching: observant Svengali of young boys’ struggles with the game.  Not sure what the other boys actually thought, but my son (in private of course) gave the big eye-roll anytime Mr. Jing A Ling approached.  However, most of the boys went along. No biggie right? Well, the head coach, Madderhorn, didn’t like the idea of being undermined or out-adored by another coach.  Today, of course, was  not the day to threaten Coach Mad’s ego…big game and all.  Anywho, Jing-A-Ling did pull a kid aside to you know, magically inspire him out of his slump. Sadly, this was ill-timed as everyone knows that you don’t want to pull a kid out of the grounder warm up rotation!

Resulting Gem: Coach Mad: “hey Jing-A-Ling, what the hell are you doing? We’ve got 10 minutes to game time?”  Coach Jing: “Can it Madderhorn, I’m fixing what you can’t fix.”  Coach Mad, slam practice bat to the ground, march authoritatively towards Jing…come VERY close to the chest bumb…” Really Jing-A-Ling?  What is that supposed to mean?”  And…wait for it…..Jing replies, no, screams….(love the build up…) “I COULD KICK, YOUR, ASS MADDERHORN AND BEEN JUST WAITIN TO DO IT!”   Whoooo whooooooooooo!  Parents and 12-year olds watch in awe as chests bump, nostrils flare, cheeks flush….What will happen?  is this funny or sad? Have they both finally lost it? Will someone throw a punch?

Of course not. We’re not THAT cray cray…not today. Ump intervenes. Coaches tossed. Game starts – another day at the ball park!

I am going to….

Tagged , , , , , , , ,