Time to bring back: coaching gems. Many of these are from days long past..the days when I knew I HAD to start a blog, but instead just kept notes, in a file, for the day I actually pulled the trigger. That day has come…through “Coaching Gems” I’ll introduce you to some of the greats from our youth sports experience. Names have been changed (or slightly altered for amusement) to protect the nutbags: Pete Humpden, Mr. JingALing, Matt Madderhorn, Rocko, Coach Chuckles – but also to not avoid the actual good guys (they’re out there, really!) Coach A, Coach B, Coach L… Feel free to COMMENT and share your own gems – we’ll include whoppers contributed by the new and naive as well (thanks to my peeps out there who just signed their kids up for the inaugural year of bunch ball and t-ball!) Enjoy!
THE DAY MR. JING A LING THREW DOWN
Sport: boys baseball
Player Age: 12
Situation: The Rebels are in league playoffs, tensions are high.
Backgrounder and run up: Logically, there has been ego clashing in this dugout for months. One coach fancies himself the Dr. Phil of coaching: observant Svengali of young boys’ struggles with the game. Not sure what the other boys actually thought, but my son (in private of course) gave the big eye-roll anytime Mr. Jing A Ling approached. However, most of the boys went along. No biggie right? Well, the head coach, Madderhorn, didn’t like the idea of being undermined or out-adored by another coach. Today, of course, was not the day to threaten Coach Mad’s ego…big game and all. Anywho, Jing-A-Ling did pull a kid aside to you know, magically inspire him out of his slump. Sadly, this was ill-timed as everyone knows that you don’t want to pull a kid out of the grounder warm up rotation!
Resulting Gem: Coach Mad: “hey Jing-A-Ling, what the hell are you doing? We’ve got 10 minutes to game time?” Coach Jing: “Can it Madderhorn, I’m fixing what you can’t fix.” Coach Mad, slam practice bat to the ground, march authoritatively towards Jing…come VERY close to the chest bumb…” Really Jing-A-Ling? What is that supposed to mean?” And…wait for it…..Jing replies, no, screams….(love the build up…) “I COULD KICK, YOUR, ASS MADDERHORN AND BEEN JUST WAITIN TO DO IT!” Whoooo whooooooooooo! Parents and 12-year olds watch in awe as chests bump, nostrils flare, cheeks flush….What will happen? is this funny or sad? Have they both finally lost it? Will someone throw a punch?
Of course not. We’re not THAT cray cray…not today. Ump intervenes. Coaches tossed. Game starts – another day at the ball park!
I am going to….
Tales From The Bleachers 