Tales From The Bleachers

So 12 years later…

Should have, could have, would have – right? This blog COULD HAVE BEEN SOMETHING! I wrote ideas and funny topics and stories on scraps of paper that were to be great blogs, filed them, planned to schedule the releases manually..pre-hootsuite!…Tales about life as a parent, about life as a parent observing kids, about parents observing crazy parents observing youth sports, of the dynamics of high school sports boosters and crazy high school parents and coaches, oh and then college sports, the kids, raising them, blah, blah, blah. This was sort of before twitter and the FB – wow it could have been big! But here we are. I’m 50 something and the kids are 20 something. So many stories, so much “if I knew then what I know now” sort of stuff. But.

But – that is how life is lived. Hopefully we’re all too busy to document, selfie, post it because we’re living it. But. At the core if the idea for tales from the bleachers – it was to observe and try to extract some logic or learning from this trip as it was taken. But. Today for some reason it’s all very clear to me – the path, how to navigate it, how to advise and lead if you are:

• teen girl
• teen boy
• genX/boomers/sandwiching

so. you’re welcome.

Teens (boys and girls):

• Wash with soap in the shape of a bar
• Use the deodorant version on your armpits AND your face (can’t beat that drying factor to beat the acne)
• …unless you have noxema. then use that!
• Moisturize with – whatever is as close to natural as possible like baby oil (not natural) or coconut oil or vaseline (not natural.)  Unless you used noxema, then you’re good to go.
• Stop messing with your eyebrows.
• Hang around with people who make you laugh, and who you feel comfortable trying to make laugh.
• Keep most of your clothes off the floor and in a closet or a drawer folded in some way. Hang on to this habit.
• Walk the dog now and then.
• Brush your tongue.

My Gen

• Respect your parents. They were the last generation to raise a generation that are likely to exceed their parents’ “success.” And they did it without tracking us on a phone – they relied on the streetlights and one unlocked window in the house that you thought you were sneaking in but it was really so that you didn’t wake them up when you were drunk.
• Know that there is no need to actually, probably, exceed their “success” because…all that extra crap will just be crap your kids have to give away or throw away…you know – later.
• Fucking chill and take a breath and enjoy your kids’ need to explore and find what they love – especially because you’ve told them they can do “anything they set their minds to”
• Wash your face with a cheap bar of soap (or noxema) and moisturize with baby oil or nothing (esp if you used noxema)
• Walk the dog now and then.