Category Archives: Football

Sep 10 2014
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Football, Kids out-of-control, Uncategorized

Of Rice and Men

Screen Shot 2014-09-10 at 3.21.50 PMSo…it’s Ray Rice 24/7. A few weeks ago, when the NFL “updated” their policy on consequences for domestic violence incidents…my friends and I were horrified. Really? SIX games instead of TWO for a first offense, and a ban after a second offense. Really…um because the first time was probably a fluke right? Wait, and pot and booze…like, um, let’s say three games and oh let’s see, how about four games for beer? Heck, they’ll figure it out right?

If the commissioner and owners were judged as parents, I would absolutely not let my kid hang out with their kids. I would classify these “parents” as flaky, permissive, indecisive, and the bottom line: I don’t want my kid influenced by their kid who has questionable, if any, boundaries.

Unfortunately, these “parents'” values and rules are all over the web, the news, and social media. Okay, kudos for outright firing Rice. But, did you know that there are over 20 current NFL Players who have already been charged with domestic violence or assault on a woman? Uh-oh spaghetti-Os…what we gonna do about THOSE kids mom and pop NFL? Yeah, while I am trying to avoid the social media lingo, the only appropriate reply is…wtf?

I don’t know the inner workings of the NFL owners meetings where they come up with the penalties for bad behavior, but I’m going out on a limb here with a thought…beating a woman evidently does not affect your play. Booze, drugs, they might, which is what matters here, right? Cause if my player is high, he might not play well, we might not win, and I might lose out on some cash, some cabbage, cheddar, some scratch. So, let’s make sure we make it painful if “our kids” do THAT. Oh, and, yeah, sets a bad example for the actual kids that worship them too, yeah, there’s that…

I’m not suggesting that our kids think any part of the Rice saga is “okay.”  We are the parents and hopefully they are wired by now to know that hitting someone, especially a man hitting a woman, boy hitting a girl, is not okay. Yet, anyone with kids in grade school through high school has seen the poster or heard/seen on TV or radio the awareness campaign for shaken baby syndrome that ran a few years ago. Right? You’re saying it in your head right now because it was E-V-E-R-Y where: “NEVER, NEVER, NEVER Shake a Baby.” Heck, seems like not shaking a baby was common sense right? Guess not. When did we stop telling our kids that hitting is NOT allowed? Is it time to saturate our schools with a new campaign? Maybe. Maybe it’s time for new posters, radio ads, and TV ads: NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, hit a girl.*  Maybe that campaign should feature the “kids” in a certain major sports organization.
*I know, there are girls who hit boys, and women who hit men. No on that behavior too. For this blog today, we are using the man hits girl example to  make the point, stay with me here…

Figure it out people, and by “people” I mean major league sports, college sports, youth sports… Because you know what? My kids are still not allowed to hang out with those “kids” whose parents aren’t sure how to discipline theirs when they hit somebody.  Which means…maybe I say no on that swag, that jersey, anything with your family “emblem” on it.  Maybe I encourage my friends to do the same…and you know what? That might hurt you where it evidently matters the most.

 

ps: promise a lighter blog post tomorrow…trust me, I got a million of ’em…

 

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Oct 17 2013
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Football, Life lessons

Football to the Rescue

The Guilty Party

The Guilty Party

It was a bad day.  Not catastrophic bad, just, “you’ve got to be kidding me” bad.

It semi-started with an early morning wake up – swing foot out of bed, step down.  I do it everyday, routine. This day my foot landed in a soft squish of dog puke. Nice.  Setting aside the gross factor for a minute, my first thought was actually, how did I not hear this event?  If you have a dog, more specifically a lab – you know that you can usually hear the wind up to a good dog puke long before the pitch.  It is this sort of guttural, low, heaving sound.  You can literally hear it for miles – can wake you from a dead sleep – and usually, at least with meat-head, gives you a window of opportunity to drag him outside or at least to the tile for easy clean up. ANYhow – on this day, he did manage to silent-barf up the footlong sub and starbursts he had swiped the night before (‘nother story…) – so I could start my day, literally, on the wrong foot.

I really should have gone back to bed…but I didn’t.  They do say, into every life a little rain must fall – and really in the scheme of things I am not complaining – okay just whining a little –  but the day did continue to  unfold in a manner you would only expect from bad sit-com:

  • After cleaned up colorful upchuck, discover a flat tire, and be informed it could not be repaired so I’ll need 4 new tires.
  • Be presented with the fact that my electrician had so butchered my ceiling that i needed $400 in drywall repairs
  • Leave credit card at the cafe where I had a client lunch, drive back and make way home in rush hour
  • Stub toe (I know, but you know, was just…going to happen…)

BUT IT’S GAME DAY.  It was cold, but “football weather.”  Not a particularly major match up, but game day nonetheless. Our team is on a roll this season so it’s always a big game.  Bottom line: I get to watch a Varsity High School game, and the next day, a freshmen football game.  Varsity: win.  Lots of long throws, lots of receptions, lots of cheering.  The freshmen game was on a blissfully sunny, crisp fall Saturday.  Another win!  Oh, and I took my tire for a second opinion that morning and found it was repairable, and it was, wait for it….FREE OF CHARGE!  I cheerfully drove to the freshman game at the school, pull in and wouldn’t you know, a car is pulling out of the closest spot to the field! Rock star parking I like to call it…that first step the day before is just a warm, mushy memory now — LIFE IS GOOD! Thanks football, I really am getting to like you!

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Sep 26 2013
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Baseball, Fan fun, Football

MOJO

Who has it? Who needs it? Where is it? How do you get it?  These are the questions.

It’s all about the mojo right? Karma, luck, we put a lot of stock in it.  Even a beer company has finally acknowledged how important superstition is to us – (seriously, what took them so long?)  Super fan or not, we all  know what it means to put on “the rally cap.” “Whatever works” right?  I say, RIGHT!

Listen, I grew up in a long-suffering (still suffering) sports town. I could write blog after blog about the rituals, the superstitions we clung to (cling to) for our hometown baseball and football teams.  Just ask my mom.  In 1980 she spent 2-3 hours every Sunday riding a stationary bike in our basement.  She was not allowed upstairs (where the rest of us were watching the game. This was unspoken.  My mom did not put up a fight, she knew that if she was not on that bike at kick-off, if her energy or effort waned in any way during that game, that a loss by the Browns was solely on her.  My mom was in some kick ass shape that season!  I’m not sure Brian Sipe appreciated the dedication it took, but we did – the label Cardiac Kids was taken literally in our household that season.  We did make it to the playoffs – not to the big game, I’m not blaming Mimi or anything…

My friend Molly, who I call Trixie, spent 3 of the last innings of a freshmen baseball game balancing on a curb behind, and to the right of the bleachers this past summer.  Why you ask? Because while we were chatting in that spot during the 5th inning we started making a comeback against our arch rivals!  Obviously it was Trixie’s positioning. We won in the bottom of the 10th! Coincidence? I think not.  Current Trixie Tracking (CTT) -Molly aka Trixie comes from the mid-west, huge family, big state, big schools, big sports – she gets the superstition thing and has influential energy, we’ll track her influence and provide periodic updates –  CTT: Trixie won’t come to tomorrow night’s football game because we are 4 and 0 and she has yet to make it to a game. Her presence at the Varsity game could well affect the outcome. We’ll miss you at pre-game Trix!

The past two high school football seasons we have established a game-day-sign-buddy-check. Your game day sign needs to either be out at the crack of dawn, or not out, depending on last week’s results of course – and the emails and texts are typically sent prior to any full time job or parenting responsibilities.  Out of town? Too bad – get a back up or this game’s on you. This is dedication.

What is wrong with us?  Why do we do it? Could we have an effect?  Well, physics tells us that energy is neither created nor destroyed. So, I’m down with the “energy is real” theory and that translates to power which translates to influence right?  Why do athletes point to the sky when they do something great?  Is it Dad? Grandma? The Big Guy? (does the big guy like him/her better than the loser on the field at that moment? And where was He when our athlete sucked last week? I know, it’s just a lot to ponder…)

I like to believe in Karma- good energy out, good energy in.  So if I focus my good energy on the game, the player – who’s to argue that it doesn’t have an effect?  Talk later, got to go – I have to get my sign out and make sure my lucky shirt is clean – it’s game day.

Oh it's real....

Oh it’s real….

Jun 13 2013
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100 games in 100 days, Football, On the bleachers

100 Games in 100 Days: Day 7

Day 7: FOOTBALL!!  So, as high school football goes there are a certain number of practices where the boys can wear the whole get up – and go play sort of real games. Then, during summer, not so much the full get up and no hitting etc.  SO – when the kids get to suit up in early summer for a scrimmage the fanatics get excited.    I’ll have a new perspective this year – I have a kid starting in a position that, well, gets the glory and gets the blame for lots of stuff.  And we know football fans aren’t known for tact, or keeping feelings, umm, bottled up.  Even at our friendly neighborhood scrimmage on my day 7 of 100 I overheard a little of this and a little of that. As a parent, whether the kid is 6, 16 or, I’m guessing 26 (poor Mrs. Tebo…but, she’s got the Big Guy on her side…) your instinct is to do that thing in that one Indiana Jones movie…and you really think you can at that moment, just push your hand-as-claw right through the chest of another human and rip out their beating heart,  hold it up for them to fully comprehend the horror, then laugh maniacally….not sure exactly what I’m supposed to do then, but – am I right?  Anyone? You with me?   Well, you will be…trust me.

On to day 8! (maybe a nice 5-year-old soccer game is in order…)

Careful what you say about my kid...

Careful what you say about my kid…

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May 31 2013
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Baseball, basketball, Fan fun, Football

100 Games in 100 Days

So…Schooolzzzzzzzz, OUT! FOR! sumMER!!…..(channel your inner Alice Cooper here…)  And that can mean only one thing right?  Take a deep breath, sit back, and time to relax!

Wrong.

School out of session means MORE TIME FOR SPORTS.  And here’s a new wrinkle..while summer really used to be about just baseball, or lacrosse, or maybe youth soccer season, as you approach middle and high school, it is now not really anyone’s “formal” season…so, obviously that means that it’s EVERYONE’S season. And when I say “everyone” I mean “coaches.”  It’s summer football, summer baseball, and summer basketball, summer LAX…In case you missed the memo: If you have a tee-baller, pop-warner, soccer bunch-baller…or any sort of fun-loving sporty kid ages 5-8, start thinking “year-round sport.”  This trend has now legitimized every coach’s dream of being able to ask your kid to play “their” sport every month of the year. Oh that other sport they usually play in that other season?  “Hey, just, you know, give them equal time this summer.”*

*BS alert

This is fast-becoming one of the classic BS lines a coach will ever utter.  No coach wants you to give equal time to another sport. This statement does not suggest that they will not lay a bit of guilt tripping on you, and your kid.  And who’s to know for sure that there is not a nasty little attendance tracker hidden deep under practice notes on that clipboard of his/hers that will allow them to hold a grudge when the regular season tryouts roll around…

So, in an attempt to keep up, and prepare my loyal readers for their future or, just provide a relatable point of reference as you juggle car pools, schedules, meals and bleacher seats this summer – I am going to track 100 games in 100 days or thereabouts – as such, will also hope to contrast the emotions and enthusiasm of coaches, fans and parents at our variety of venues. Join me?

GAME ON!

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May 29 2013
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Football, On the bleachers

Serious Biz

So..we’ve entered into a whole new phase….I’m talking football, talking High School, I’m talking varsity, I’m talking CAMPS!  I’m talking RECRUTING…I am talking, this is serious biz.

So, I had the pleasure, no really – I was 100% up for this…of escorting my teen-age son to a football camp in beautiful San Diego.  Right?  Beautiful San Diego…I’m thinking spa day, beach reads, maybe even a cabana boy to bring me a cocktail while I wait for the call that camp is over and where are we dining tonight?  Ahhhh….the perfect weekend.  Wow – let me join those of you in-the-know with some out of control hysterical laughter.  Who’s the idiot? Who’s the naive, ignoramus who thinks high school football camps are NOT a full contact parent activity?  Answer: yeah, it’s me.

You, the parent, are expected to sit on a concrete bleacher during the camp and document their every move on film.  Better yet, get as close as possible and videotape the ENTIRE day’s activities. I mean, not sure if “expected” to, is the right turn of phrase, but evidently that is the drill as nearly every parent was equipped with a tripod, high-speed telephoto digital camera, or, of course, the iPad.  Parents, let’s be honest, nothing is more awesome than holding up a 6″ screen in a foot in front of your face for 5 hours in direct sun. Well, not if you’re from Texas anyway..again, EVIDENTLY.

By day two at 2 PM my ass was in such a state of numbness that I asked the trainer to asses the situation. (no this did not humiliate my son. Well, at least it did not humiliate him as much as my inability to throw a football when the parents were called down to get a taste of what their boys were working on…)

Okay YES I filmed my kid, YES my kid was the best and best looking on the field, YES the morning at the beach on Coronado was awesome, YES I did squeeze in a cocktail or two…but I digress.

I’m not sure how I drew this camp, as the boy and his dad will be attending a couple more this summer – and I have a sneaking suspicion that this was the most unique and really low-stress camp there is – but how did I get here? I’m talking Talking Head’s “how did I get here…”  What the hell is going on? College? Recruiting? One minute they’re peeing in their athletic cup in left field on a hot July day, and the next he’s hanging on the words “there is no reason you can’t play in the NFL” from a guy who actually knows something or two about that league.  Am I ready? Is he? But more importantly, do I have the right AV equipment? I clearly don’t have the right gear to camp out at a stadium for two straight days listening to other parents talk about how many offers they got, are getting or are expecting for their little all-star.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure my son got a lot out of this endeavor, not the least of which was that they have really great oysters at the Fish Market on the bay (tip: sit at the oyster bar and ask for Mannie)  Here’s what I learned

  • My hand is too small to adequately throw a football
  • I am afraid to catch a pigskin that is coming at me like a missile
  • I need a better cooler that will fit in my luggage
  • I need a cocktail that resembles Gatorade
  • His dad should accompany him to all future camps, I’ll stick with baseball tournaments where I can rely on a simple red solo cup.
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