Category Archives: Uncategorized

Jun 18 2022
Leave a comment
Baseball, Uncategorized

And…we’re back!

The 2019 Collegiate Division one baseball season started strong! We launched the HOTDOGBLOG- Miami U went to playoffs, the USF Dons as well – we charged into the 2020 season with a dedicated fund to travel to college baseball nearly every weekend – with a Senior and and Sophomore healthy and ready to rock. And. Then.

But here we are – 2022. The inspiration for this blog are now college graduates, both with degrees and Magna Cum Laude status and student-athlete accolades. From T-Ball to D1 college, what a ride. But…the ride continues, and you are invited to come along, still. I’m back on the blog. We are still in the bleachers. I remember the first bleachers – a three-row job but then we sat on blankets. Watching dads who just wanted to teach the game to their tots. Not yell, not scream, not throw tantrums. Baggy jerseys, ill-fitting helmets, awkward swings, a little brother who was not technically allowed to approach the T. And here we are today, from seats along first base line in Lansing, Michigan at Jackson Field. Home of the Lansing Lugnuts, high A team for the Oakland A’s, still cheering, still rating hot dogs.

Is this heaven?

Feb 22 2020
Leave a comment
Uncategorized

Fanatics

Fanaticism as Wikipedia defines (from the Latin adverb fānāticē (fren-fānāticus; enthusiastic, ecstatic; raging, fanatical, furious)[1]) is a belief or behavior involving uncritical zeal or with an obsessive enthusiasm. The fanatic displays very strict standards and little tolerance for contrary ideas or opinions. Tõnu Lehtsaar has defined the term fanaticism as “the pursuit or defense of something in an extreme and passionate way that goes beyond normality.”

Hey, we all need to express ourselves – when it comes to our sports teams, we don a ball cap with their logo. Maybe going all in with a t-shirt and sweatshirt as well. We are united in our support and want to express our allegiance and connect with like-minded parents, siblings, school-mates, friends and strangers. It’s a great feeling to “find your tribe.” But the extreme fanatic’s singular focus takes it beyond self-expression. And there are few areas of our modern lives that brings out the fanatics quite like sports. Having said that, I have never really experienced or observed intense fanaticism related to the sport of baseball. Football, of course. Hockey, absolutely – and while never personally experiencing a professional, international football (soccer) game, obviously wild fanaticism rules the day. But the “beautiful game” is more often associated with laid back, slow-pace appreciation and a leisurely way to spend an afternoon. Well, not in Texas my friends…

Game one at the home of the SEC conference Aggie’s was, for our mid-american conference neck of the woods – a blow-out. From the get-go we knew their highly ranked – likely first round draft pitcher was no match for our boys. But I’m getting ahead of myself. My first impression of the robust student-section was “wow!” Just witnessing this kind of fan support for college baseball was awesome. I haven’t seen that sort of energy on display in many college parks during the regular season. As the game got rolling it was clear these fans had done the work – bubble machines perfectly coordinated upon a run. The humiliation of the ball count as we cringe through consecutive walks: “ball 6, ball 6, ball 6…ball 7, ball 7, ball 7… The sea of outreached arms with fingers fluttering on strike 2… But what was most impressive is the heckling. These fans don’t just know the opposing players names, they scour social media for details and tidbits about their girlfriends, their majors, their hometowns then taunt, laugh, scream. It’s extraordinary. It’s intense. It’s fanatical.

IMHO it was all very admirable in support of the sport of baseball…until it became obnoxious. As the score became more like a football score…8-0, 9-0, 10-1….15-1 you kind of think, okay, maybe letting up a bit won’t hurt. Nope. Worse, the team/coaches still taking aggressive base running approach fueling the fan base. For me, it crossed over and became not about supporting the team, but taking on that bully tone. Can we just stick with the mellow, beautiful pace of the game and give it the old college cheer for our boys? Not here. Not in Texas. Like everything there I guess it’s true: it’s bigger in Texas – and if you’re not going to go big, well – go home. Onward…see you in Cali soon readers!

Feb 15 2020
Leave a comment
Uncategorized

Here we go…

 

I remember starting this blog when my boys were playing little league baseball. Inspired isn’t quite the word – it was more that I was compelled to share the crazy underbelly of insanity of youth sports. At the time my boys were playing three sports, and it was prior to the internet frenzy of outrageously bad behavior among parents and coaches. Back then – the periodic outburst among and between coaches and parents was fairly uncommon – at least for us. Over the course of their athletic seasons from grade school to junior high to high school to college selection we lived and observed the slow unraveling of appropriate behavior, respect and boundaries from season to season. At the same time we were living through the evolution of youth sports – this transition from “kids playing sports to PLAY sports” to the “youth athlete as specialist” – with options and choices shrinking for kids. Passion and fun slowly giving way to more serious competition and grooming for the next level. So with that as the backdrop – I thought it would be a fun idea to record the ride, but maybe share some lessons and knowledge with other parents, or just entertain a bit. I mean on balance, even as the world of kids sports was evolving…it was and is – an absolute blast.

Alas, like so many with the grand idea of starting a blog because the world needs to know…my posts became fewer and farther between. Even though I filled a file folder and notebook with fun, crazy and emotional drafts, the urgency of the message slowly faded. Well…here we are. It’s February 14th 2020 and those little leaguers opened their respective 5th and 3rd division one college season today! For me and their dad – it’s the last season we’ll have two boys playing college baseball – so we’ve scheduled the dog sitters, reserved our flights, hotel rooms, pulled out all our Redhawks and Dons gear and are off on a marathon of college baseball this Spring!

I’d love it if you would come along with us for a few more Tales from the Bleachers. We’ll travel back to the wooden bleachers at “K&E” little league field, to the metal ones at the Chatfield High Chargers’ diamond – I’ll regale with past and present visits to the million dollar baseball facility in Oxford Ohio, to the sweeping views of the San Francisco skyline from the Dons’ friendly confines. So many tales to share, and I’m just as curious as you about where this spring will take us (and the boys.) First stop: College Station TX where the Redhawks take on the formidable Texas A&M Aggies.

Here we go!

Nov 15 2018
Leave a comment
Uncategorized

I Started a Blog and Here Are All of Them

So 12 years later…

Should have, could have, would have – right? This blog COULD HAVE BEEN SOMETHING! I wrote ideas and funny topics and stories on scraps of paper that were to be great blogs, filed them, planned to schedule the releases manually..pre-hootsuite!…Tales about life as a parent, about life as a parent observing kids, about parents observing crazy parents observing youth sports, of the dynamics of high school sports boosters and crazy high school parents and coaches, oh and then college sports, the kids, raising them, blah, blah, blah. This was sort of before twitter and the FB – wow it could have been big! But here we are. I’m 50 something and the kids are 20 something. So many stories, so much “if I knew then what I know now” sort of stuff. But.

But – that is how life is lived. Hopefully we’re all too busy to document, selfie, post it because we’re living it. But. At the core if the idea for tales from the bleachers – it was to observe and try to extract some logic or learning from this trip as it was taken. But. Today for some reason it’s all very clear to me – the path, how to navigate it, how to advise and lead if you are:

  • teen girl
  • teen boy
  • genX/boomers/sandwiching

so. you’re welcome.

Teens (boys and girls):

  • Wash with soap in the shape of a bar
  • Use the deodorant version on your armpits AND your face (can’t beat that drying factor to beat the acne)
  • …unless you have noxema. then use that!
  • Moisturize with – whatever is as close to natural as possible like baby oil (not natural) or coconut oil or vaseline (not natural.)  Unless you used noxema, then you’re good to go.
  • Stop messing with your eyebrows.
  • Hang around with people who make you laugh, and who you feel comfortable trying to make laugh.
  • Keep most of your clothes off the floor and in a closet or a drawer folded in some way. Hang on to this habit.
  • Walk the dog now and then.
  • Brush your tongue.

My Gen

  • Respect your parents. They were the last generation to raise a generation that are likely to exceed their parents’ “success.” And they did it without tracking us on a phone – they relied on the streetlights and one unlocked window in the house that you thought you were sneaking in but it was really so that you didn’t wake them up when you were drunk.
  • Know that there is no need to actually, probably, exceed their “success” because…all that extra crap will just be crap your kids have to give away or throw away…you know – later.
  • Fucking chill and take a breath and enjoy your kids’ need to explore and find what they love – especially because you’ve told them they can do “anything they set their minds to”
  • Wash your face with a cheap bar of soap (or noxema) and moisturize with baby oil or nothing (esp if you used noxema)
  • Walk the dog now and then.
Nov 27 2017
Leave a comment
Life lessons, Uncategorized, Youth Sports Image

Tears of an Athlete

There’s no crying in baseball. And in football…

Watching Paxton Lynch in tears on the sidelines yesterday during the Broncos/Raiders game tore at my heartstrings. It immediately transported me back to those games my own kids played in that ended in tears or grappling with tears, hours of silence and retreats to their bedrooms to try to reconcile their emotions. My kids are of the male type which adds another layer to the agony of defeat. Let’s face it, when we see a female group of athletes letting their emotions run over we don’t blink an eye. When their male counterparts can’t keep the intense emotion from literally overflowing, there’s a level of judgement. Regardless of the age or gender or level of the athlete, the pressure and emotion associated with playing a sport is real, it’s intense, and it deserves a little space and a little respect. Here are the three occasions where we grappled with the tears of an athlete:

THE LAST GAME. For most youth athletes, this is the last game of their senior season. More often than not it ends on a loss, not a win. For those select few the reality that their time as an athlete has likely come to an end is overshadowed by the hoist of a championship trophy. But for the majority, it’s the stark reality: this is the last time I’ll play a game with these guys. I remember when my oldest was a sophomore in high school and was invited to dress for a varsity playoff game. They lost. When Kyle met us in the parking lot he was pie-eyed. The first words out of his mouth were “I’ve never seen that many guys crying.” Then he said: “I have about 16 more football games in my whole life.” The last game is tough. The majority won’t play an organized sport again and the loss of that last game, the loss of that team bond, the brotherhood or sisterhood of team sports – it’s tough. The tears need to flow.

THE MIGHTY CASEY STRIKES OUT. If your kid was ever the hero of the game, the day they can’t deliver in that same pressure situation is a day for a good cry. The amount of pressure we (the collective we: parents, coaches, other parents…) put on our youth athletes today – and the amount of pressure they put on themselves is completely out of control. But it’s real. When they get in the car, when they arrive home after that loss and believe they let their team down – give them space, let them wallow, pout, shut off for a bit. And make no mistake, it can be almost as hard for a parent to watch their kid go through this. But, it’s part of life – we fall, we get up…my kids are the young men they are because they had to grapple with these disappointments. “First world disappointments” for sure, but it’s all relative in my book. But p.s. after a reasonable amount of time of wallowing – be the parent and help them snap out of it.

SEASON ENDING INJURY. Whether a youth athlete, a high school or college student-athlete, or a professional, the shock and frustration of an injury that takes them out for the season is more than a disappointment. Their mindset for months has likely been homed in on the next season. They’ve practiced, trained, and looked forward to this day, this time. A recent study showed a positive association between a healthy life outlook and an event to look forward to. Having something in the future that we rely on has a physical effect on us. For the athlete, this sudden shift is truly an emotionally catastrophic turn of events. Yesterday, a highly regarded QB tried to endure not only a poor performance on the field, but then a season and possibly career ending injury. His entire life up to this point had been preparing him for this day – only to come crushing down. Yes, he is a highly paid professional. Yes there are worse things that can happen to a person and in fact are happening to humans every day on the planet. But in that moment, in that world, tears flow. Let them.

 

 

Tagged , , , , , ,
Oct 28 2017
Leave a comment
Next question, Uncategorized

Next Question

Next Question is a new feature – maybe Fridays, weekends – just fun days in general. So I have been and will be fielding questions from friends and followers about youth sports, raising boys, dogs (pure breeds and rescues) and general stuff. Stuff they have – or think I might have – a point of view about (which, to anyone who knows me understands that I pretty much have a POV on everything.) But here, we will try to stick with topics that I am likely to have experience with such as how to identify lunatic coaches, the best ways to get out of booster meetings, when-if-and-how to ask the same 20 people to help you pay your kids’ sports fees every season, girls v. boys sports, do dynamics of fighter jet/overly involved parents change in middle-school, high school, college (you’ll be shocked)…stuff like that.

If you have a question leave a comment or submit your question below! Seems like it could be fun – let’s find out.

So, first question from the archives:

Q: “How can I keep from embarrassing my kid at his/her game?”

A: That is a GREAT QUESTION! Because we all know that parent am I right? They have a comment for every move the kid makes. They’re coaching from the stands, clapping the loudest, maybe whistling using the fingers-in-the-mouth-type-I’m-talking-LOUD-whistle, bringing giant snack bags and Gatorade over during the game, audibly reacting to every call that doesn’t go the kid’s way, questioning coach’s decisions and the kid is just “OMG Mom/Dad seriously?!”  Yes that can get a kid worked up. So here’s what I’ve got: take a moment with your child, sit them down, maybe over Blizzard or a Sonic frozen cherry lemonade. Look them straight in the eye and tell them: “deal with it.”  Next question?

Go back

Your message has been sent

Oct 26 2017
Leave a comment
Life lessons, Uncategorized

How To Embrace the Empty Nest

And then there were two.  That was the plan right? You have ’em, they, crawl, walk, run, eventually can get themselves in and out of their car seats (how awesome was that milestone?) then you know, the whole nine: pre-school, primary, elementary, high school, t-ball, pop warner football, little league and on it goes. Disclaimer: I know the college track does not have to be the standard anymore but let’s just set that aside. It went that way for us and hooray all good.

But then the weirdness sets in. Folks ask in the run up: “oh boy…gonna be an EMPTYNESTER EH? oh jeeze whatchya gonna do?…” As if we had absolutely no life, purpose, routine outside of our two boys? WTF?

Okay, we didn’t.

But hold on – we both have full time jobs, two dogs, some good friends, parents who are doing that aging thing. Listen we have stuff. But if we’re being honest our days and weeks for the last 15 years pretty much revolved around the next game, or practice, or sports related meeting, fundraiser, etc. Oh sure we had the occasional family gatherings, holidays, and – I’m sure all kinds of other stuff – but yes – our timelines worked around sports. So YES okay – there is a bit of weirdness now.

We aren’t pathetically pathetic middle-aged adults just waiting for the next text message or OMG PHONE CALL from the boys…(mainly because I have begged for asked the boys for a call every Sunday so there’s that.) No, the truth is that emotionally it’s all good. But the practical thing is where things are a little sideways. Practical in the every day marriage sense, the “just the two of us” sense. So here are some tips based on this new normal. Maybe it will prepare you just a teeny bit in the event you have the kid or last kid flying the coop next year or so:

  • Start jotting down conversation starters with your spouse that have nothing to do with the kids. Stuff like: wasn’t that article about prairie dogs being relocated mind-blowing? What, exactly do you do at your job all day? How do you feel about getting another dog?
  • Start taking an interest in your S.O’s interests. Remember how you did that when you were dating? (I couldn’t really remember but worth a shot.) For example, my husband loves Rush. I’ve been able to work around that for 18 years. Now I happen to know that Getty Lee’s real name is Gary and his mom had an accent that made it sound like “Getty” and he had funny friends who mimicked her so it stuck. Yes, I am super- wife now.  I will bring this up every time the next Rush documentary is on like “see how into this I am? We are so a couple!”
  • Start noticing what your spouse likes to eat and doesn’t like. Likewise notice what you ACTUALLY like and don’t like. If you’re like us, you’ve pretty much been shopping and cooking for your kids for years and healthy or not you eat what you can get them to eat, you eat what they like. Two weeks ago I caught myself robotically dumping the usual 10 yoplaits for $10 into my cart. Then, thunderstruck: does Bryan even like yogurt? Do I? REVELATION! So I did it! I put the yoplait back on the shelf! And – went for the greek yogurt instead!

We can do this – yes we can.

Continue reading →

Tagged , , , , ,
Oct 24 2017
Leave a comment
Uncategorized

Stupid Things

Hey there – anyone out there remember me creating this blog…ahem- 8 years ago? Can you imagine if I would have been a more disciplined blogger? For cryin’ out loud I could be sitting on a beach somewhere rolling in, and sipping on royalties from my book derived from my oh so entertaining entries from the time my boys were 9 and 11? Ahhh. Well – I’m back. Here’s why:

  • I’ve been inspired by OTHER BLOGGERS who BLOG about writing. Here’s the line that got me: stop reading this blog and start writing!
  • My inspiration(s) for this blog are actually STILL. PLAYING. SPORTS – in college. Yes, it’s true. So yes, I have yet more, and more perspective to share on youth, high school (be excited, there is some gold in those years) and now…yes, division 1 college sports (spoiler alert – parents have crossed all boundries.)
  • As a result of bullet point #2 I have a little more free time to relate some amazing experiences, stories, advice..that I’ve gathered during the games, parent meetings, tryouts, heartbreaks, growing up, more growing up, tears, joy, loss – you know all that stuff. (I’m an empty nester- I’ve got time is the point.)
  • And on that note (bullet point #3) as the sporting life went on I not only was a parent, observer and fan, but immersed in all things boosterish at the preps level which, if you stay involved allows for some interesting observations. (not that anything can shock us anymore, can it?)
  • As a result and once again in reference to bullet #2, as a parent I’ve been on a personal journey that I’m pretty sure any parent, sports or not…will relate to and hopefully I can share a little perspective that might make the ride well…a little less bumpy, and maybe allow you to step back, take a breath and realize how very extraordinary it all can be.

So sit back and come along if YOU have some free time- as the saying goes…it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

Sep 10 2014
Leave a comment
Football, Kids out-of-control, Uncategorized

Of Rice and Men

Screen Shot 2014-09-10 at 3.21.50 PMSo…it’s Ray Rice 24/7. A few weeks ago, when the NFL “updated” their policy on consequences for domestic violence incidents…my friends and I were horrified. Really? SIX games instead of TWO for a first offense, and a ban after a second offense. Really…um because the first time was probably a fluke right? Wait, and pot and booze…like, um, let’s say three games and oh let’s see, how about four games for beer? Heck, they’ll figure it out right?

If the commissioner and owners were judged as parents, I would absolutely not let my kid hang out with their kids. I would classify these “parents” as flaky, permissive, indecisive, and the bottom line: I don’t want my kid influenced by their kid who has questionable, if any, boundaries.

Unfortunately, these “parents'” values and rules are all over the web, the news, and social media. Okay, kudos for outright firing Rice. But, did you know that there are over 20 current NFL Players who have already been charged with domestic violence or assault on a woman? Uh-oh spaghetti-Os…what we gonna do about THOSE kids mom and pop NFL? Yeah, while I am trying to avoid the social media lingo, the only appropriate reply is…wtf?

I don’t know the inner workings of the NFL owners meetings where they come up with the penalties for bad behavior, but I’m going out on a limb here with a thought…beating a woman evidently does not affect your play. Booze, drugs, they might, which is what matters here, right? Cause if my player is high, he might not play well, we might not win, and I might lose out on some cash, some cabbage, cheddar, some scratch. So, let’s make sure we make it painful if “our kids” do THAT. Oh, and, yeah, sets a bad example for the actual kids that worship them too, yeah, there’s that…

I’m not suggesting that our kids think any part of the Rice saga is “okay.”  We are the parents and hopefully they are wired by now to know that hitting someone, especially a man hitting a woman, boy hitting a girl, is not okay. Yet, anyone with kids in grade school through high school has seen the poster or heard/seen on TV or radio the awareness campaign for shaken baby syndrome that ran a few years ago. Right? You’re saying it in your head right now because it was E-V-E-R-Y where: “NEVER, NEVER, NEVER Shake a Baby.” Heck, seems like not shaking a baby was common sense right? Guess not. When did we stop telling our kids that hitting is NOT allowed? Is it time to saturate our schools with a new campaign? Maybe. Maybe it’s time for new posters, radio ads, and TV ads: NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, hit a girl.*  Maybe that campaign should feature the “kids” in a certain major sports organization.
*I know, there are girls who hit boys, and women who hit men. No on that behavior too. For this blog today, we are using the man hits girl example to  make the point, stay with me here…

Figure it out people, and by “people” I mean major league sports, college sports, youth sports… Because you know what? My kids are still not allowed to hang out with those “kids” whose parents aren’t sure how to discipline theirs when they hit somebody.  Which means…maybe I say no on that swag, that jersey, anything with your family “emblem” on it.  Maybe I encourage my friends to do the same…and you know what? That might hurt you where it evidently matters the most.

 

ps: promise a lighter blog post tomorrow…trust me, I got a million of ’em…

 

Tagged , , , , ,
Mar 18 2014
1 Comment
Uncategorized

The Count

Hey TFTB fans – or should I say HEYYYY BATTER BATTER HEY…I know – it’s been a while – and frankly – not sure you’re still out there, but hey, just fine with this blog as a personal diary. In fact,  thinking of reverting to a classic, pink, comeswithalock, must write with instrument…diary.  The problem with that is – say it with me… HAND CRAMP!

If you’re reading, great.  If not, you’re not.  Hopefully I’ll be able to fill in some gaps as to why I have not had (and I’m not being dramatic here) a MINUTE, LITERALLY… to blog in the last 3 months – and no, not going to skip happy hours to blog, (but thanks in advance for the input…)  But have faith…I will absolutely amplify the drama that has gone on in the interim…for the benefit of the blog which means for the benefit of your amusement – in the coming days.  And trust me, it’s rich, RICH I tell you!

Anyway HERE’S THE THOUGHT FOR TODAY…

BASEBALL SEASON IS UPON US!!

My personal fave.  Yes haters…BECAUSE it’s slow, mellow, America’s game (cue James Earl Jones…”BASEball”) and again…slows it all down.  Oh yeah, and…typically associated with SUN and HEAT.  So, MLB Spring training is still in session, in youth sports practices just under way, in high school baseball games start this week…THEREFORE, I am sharing with you my version, of THE COUNT (may or may not be an ongoing series during the season, but likely..if only to track Hank’s count)

1 HOMERUN (varsity baseball, first at bat, YES!)

1 PIE (fruits of the forest pie from gourmet grocery – HANK, in the KITCHEN, at 2 AM, with THE PAWS)

4 ALTERED BASEBALL PANTS (to long, too wide, not high enough for wearin’up, hole in the ass)

2,500 DOLLARS (fees, trip to Arizona for Varsity tournament, bats, cleats, vet bill)

2lb CORNED BEEF (3/18, left over from St. Patty’s, Hank left alone for 5 minutes)

1 BEAN BALL

1 CYLINDER of Quaker Oats (lower shelf, pantry, 2 a.m. on a Saturday)

4 WALKS

1 DOUBLE

1 SINGLE

1 ESPN HIGHLIGHT (on the run from short, the freshmen saves a run and ends the inning with a scoop @2nd)

GOODNIGHT SPORTS FANS. May or may not see you tomorrow…(have SOOO much to share, teaser alert…high school football team goin to Disney (WHY?), new booster club boss (loves a good flow chart), rumors of embezzled funds in kids’ sports, cat fight (yeah, this is breaking…but stick with me), youth coaches come back to haunt us at the high school level (aka as HS), boys growing up, and seeing the future…) stick with us here at tftb!

Screen Shot 2014-03-18 at 8.49.42 PM

← Older posts