Category Archives: What I’ve learned

Mar 12 2019
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Life lessons, What I've learned

The Leap

I’m a business owner. A small-business owner. A woman-small-business owner. Every year my business partner and I reflect on how we got here (props to Talking Heads…) We were both earning a good salary, living life without too many bumps or bruises. What was that impulse? Mutual outrage.

I was 38 with two small boys, and a husband in the process of changing careers via start-ups. My naiveté and impatience overshadowed the fact that I was basically the sole breadwinner. And my now-business partner and I had a dynamic that allowed us to amp up our annoyance at the incompetence (or so we thought) and dysfunction that surrounded us at our previous firm. In our view the workflow was cumbersome and the pressure to scream through a project and move to the next was inherently flawed. What if we were able to just dig in and really invest in our clients. Give them honest counsel? Tell them when an idea stunk and was doomed to fail? Hmm, it might actually be more “fun.” Wouldn’t they see the value in our partnership? See we were better than a competitor that just treated their business as a commodity? A few industry veterans suggested no. That volume is where profit is realized. Get efficient, close a sale, hand the project off to the internal staff, move on to the next sale and repeat.

Despite that advice…we launched Boom 15 years ago. Our philosophy? “Fewer clients, more personal attention.” If that sounds familiar, you must be a Jerry Maguire fan…remember the “memo”? It was called “The Things We Think and Do Not Say: The Future of Our Business” and got him fired. Well — we didn’t get fired, but walked away from a pretty good gig to try to do it better. And…I think we’ve succeeded. The business of media relations and content placement (broadcast PR), has been, is and will keep on evolving. In fact, our “keep it simple” business model allowed us to weather the effects of the 2008 recession on marketing agencies pretty well. There was no term “virtual office” then, but that’s what we had created simply to do away with unnecessary overhead. We tapped the talent we had worked with and for years. No one was cutting their teeth on the business. Everyone was treated as a professional. And something funny happened the first week we were official: two of the biggest consumer brands in the country came to us for help. Both client contacts happened to be women who knew us personally, how we operated, and how we had treated them. We were off and running.

I write this in hopes to inspire you — if you have long been dreaming, thinking, imagining what your thing might be, if you’re ready to cut the chord — it doesn’t have to be some crazy leap. Maybe it’s just the simple reality that you can do it a little better. Maybe a little smaller, but a little better. Technology, industry evolution aside — people are still people and want to be considered, listened to, and supported.

For our part, we can’t control the demands of marketers, objectives, and analytics, but as long as we stay focused on the principal that inspired us to go it on our own…I’m confident we’ll keep on keepin’ on. A small aside: as evidence of the work and the payoffs, we recently had the honor of working to support the first responders during the Carolina floods and California fires via @musicforrelief — and were flattered to be recognized among other much bigger players (CAA, Universal, Waner Music Group…) — it’s work like this that feeds that idea we hatched (borrowed…) 15 years ago. Onward!

You can check out more of the cool stuff we get to work on and just a few of the many messages we care about here.

Nov 27 2017
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Life lessons, Uncategorized, Youth Sports Image

Tears of an Athlete

There’s no crying in baseball. And in football…

Watching Paxton Lynch in tears on the sidelines yesterday during the Broncos/Raiders game tore at my heartstrings. It immediately transported me back to those games my own kids played in that ended in tears or grappling with tears, hours of silence and retreats to their bedrooms to try to reconcile their emotions. My kids are of the male type which adds another layer to the agony of defeat. Let’s face it, when we see a female group of athletes letting their emotions run over we don’t blink an eye. When their male counterparts can’t keep the intense emotion from literally overflowing, there’s a level of judgement. Regardless of the age or gender or level of the athlete, the pressure and emotion associated with playing a sport is real, it’s intense, and it deserves a little space and a little respect. Here are the three occasions where we grappled with the tears of an athlete:

THE LAST GAME. For most youth athletes, this is the last game of their senior season. More often than not it ends on a loss, not a win. For those select few the reality that their time as an athlete has likely come to an end is overshadowed by the hoist of a championship trophy. But for the majority, it’s the stark reality: this is the last time I’ll play a game with these guys. I remember when my oldest was a sophomore in high school and was invited to dress for a varsity playoff game. They lost. When Kyle met us in the parking lot he was pie-eyed. The first words out of his mouth were “I’ve never seen that many guys crying.” Then he said: “I have about 16 more football games in my whole life.” The last game is tough. The majority won’t play an organized sport again and the loss of that last game, the loss of that team bond, the brotherhood or sisterhood of team sports – it’s tough. The tears need to flow.

THE MIGHTY CASEY STRIKES OUT. If your kid was ever the hero of the game, the day they can’t deliver in that same pressure situation is a day for a good cry. The amount of pressure we (the collective we: parents, coaches, other parents…) put on our youth athletes today – and the amount of pressure they put on themselves is completely out of control. But it’s real. When they get in the car, when they arrive home after that loss and believe they let their team down – give them space, let them wallow, pout, shut off for a bit. And make no mistake, it can be almost as hard for a parent to watch their kid go through this. But, it’s part of life – we fall, we get up…my kids are the young men they are because they had to grapple with these disappointments. “First world disappointments” for sure, but it’s all relative in my book. But p.s. after a reasonable amount of time of wallowing – be the parent and help them snap out of it.

SEASON ENDING INJURY. Whether a youth athlete, a high school or college student-athlete, or a professional, the shock and frustration of an injury that takes them out for the season is more than a disappointment. Their mindset for months has likely been homed in on the next season. They’ve practiced, trained, and looked forward to this day, this time. A recent study showed a positive association between a healthy life outlook and an event to look forward to. Having something in the future that we rely on has a physical effect on us. For the athlete, this sudden shift is truly an emotionally catastrophic turn of events. Yesterday, a highly regarded QB tried to endure not only a poor performance on the field, but then a season and possibly career ending injury. His entire life up to this point had been preparing him for this day – only to come crushing down. Yes, he is a highly paid professional. Yes there are worse things that can happen to a person and in fact are happening to humans every day on the planet. But in that moment, in that world, tears flow. Let them.

 

 

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Oct 26 2017
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Life lessons, Uncategorized

How To Embrace the Empty Nest

And then there were two.  That was the plan right? You have ’em, they, crawl, walk, run, eventually can get themselves in and out of their car seats (how awesome was that milestone?) then you know, the whole nine: pre-school, primary, elementary, high school, t-ball, pop warner football, little league and on it goes. Disclaimer: I know the college track does not have to be the standard anymore but let’s just set that aside. It went that way for us and hooray all good.

But then the weirdness sets in. Folks ask in the run up: “oh boy…gonna be an EMPTYNESTER EH? oh jeeze whatchya gonna do?…” As if we had absolutely no life, purpose, routine outside of our two boys? WTF?

Okay, we didn’t.

But hold on – we both have full time jobs, two dogs, some good friends, parents who are doing that aging thing. Listen we have stuff. But if we’re being honest our days and weeks for the last 15 years pretty much revolved around the next game, or practice, or sports related meeting, fundraiser, etc. Oh sure we had the occasional family gatherings, holidays, and – I’m sure all kinds of other stuff – but yes – our timelines worked around sports. So YES okay – there is a bit of weirdness now.

We aren’t pathetically pathetic middle-aged adults just waiting for the next text message or OMG PHONE CALL from the boys…(mainly because I have begged for asked the boys for a call every Sunday so there’s that.) No, the truth is that emotionally it’s all good. But the practical thing is where things are a little sideways. Practical in the every day marriage sense, the “just the two of us” sense. So here are some tips based on this new normal. Maybe it will prepare you just a teeny bit in the event you have the kid or last kid flying the coop next year or so:

  • Start jotting down conversation starters with your spouse that have nothing to do with the kids. Stuff like: wasn’t that article about prairie dogs being relocated mind-blowing? What, exactly do you do at your job all day? How do you feel about getting another dog?
  • Start taking an interest in your S.O’s interests. Remember how you did that when you were dating? (I couldn’t really remember but worth a shot.) For example, my husband loves Rush. I’ve been able to work around that for 18 years. Now I happen to know that Getty Lee’s real name is Gary and his mom had an accent that made it sound like “Getty” and he had funny friends who mimicked her so it stuck. Yes, I am super- wife now.  I will bring this up every time the next Rush documentary is on like “see how into this I am? We are so a couple!”
  • Start noticing what your spouse likes to eat and doesn’t like. Likewise notice what you ACTUALLY like and don’t like. If you’re like us, you’ve pretty much been shopping and cooking for your kids for years and healthy or not you eat what you can get them to eat, you eat what they like. Two weeks ago I caught myself robotically dumping the usual 10 yoplaits for $10 into my cart. Then, thunderstruck: does Bryan even like yogurt? Do I? REVELATION! So I did it! I put the yoplait back on the shelf! And – went for the greek yogurt instead!

We can do this – yes we can.

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Aug 06 2015
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Baseball, Life lessons, On the bleachers, What I've learned

The Kids Are Alright

To quote Cher in Moonstruck: “SNAP OUT OF IT.”

As they say: time flies. I think I started this blog quite a few years ago…my boys were in the thick of youth sports and the antics, experiences and observations of coaches, players and parents prompted this blog. I have notebooks, digital reminders, and scraps shoved into file folders with topics for blogs. They’re coming – I promise. But let’s face it: managing a household, a business, a dog and a blog is a challenge. But I love these stories and as you are my witness – I will get back on the blog bandwagon – ’cause really, it’s fun. But I digress.

As I finally take to the keyboard for a long-overdue entry,  I am faced with the joy, angst and reality that one of my own young athletes that inspired these stories is about to head off to college. The sporting life continues though, he’ll be playing baseball as well as stumbling into that wondrous world of quasi-adulthood and psuedo-independence. Exciting times.

He’s not alone of course. Most of his peer group is choosing the same traditional move from high school to a 4-year college. The kids are alright. But there is definitely anxiety, hand-wringing and tears, but not so much the kids. As usual, it’s THE PARENTS.

Don’t get me wrong – clearly this is a milestone for parents too. Especially if it’s your first-born. I mean, I shed a few tears when they trotted across the threshold of Kindergarten (wasn’t that literally yesterday?) and I can assure you I’ll shed a few as I drive away from his dorm two weeks from now.  But the all-consuming angst that seems to be devouring many of my contemporaries seems, well, slightly out of proportion. Kind of similar to say…YOUTH SPORTS PARENTS!

But honestly, can you blame us? We have been in this over-involved lane for more than 10-years now! Can we really be expected to disengage at this point and just be satisfied with the fact that they made a good choice, it’s the right fit, they’re legitimately excited to be starting this new phase of life? No. We cannot. Because it NEEDS TO BE ABOUT US. But hope springs eternal. We can do this. I know it. Say it with me. “We. Can. Do. This!”

So listen – when the big day arrives, hug him a few seconds longer, run through the checklist with her one more time, linger in the dorm room – get a good cry in on the way home. But before that day and after that day please: Snap out if it!

 

 

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Oct 17 2013
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Football, Life lessons

Football to the Rescue

The Guilty Party

The Guilty Party

It was a bad day.  Not catastrophic bad, just, “you’ve got to be kidding me” bad.

It semi-started with an early morning wake up – swing foot out of bed, step down.  I do it everyday, routine. This day my foot landed in a soft squish of dog puke. Nice.  Setting aside the gross factor for a minute, my first thought was actually, how did I not hear this event?  If you have a dog, more specifically a lab – you know that you can usually hear the wind up to a good dog puke long before the pitch.  It is this sort of guttural, low, heaving sound.  You can literally hear it for miles – can wake you from a dead sleep – and usually, at least with meat-head, gives you a window of opportunity to drag him outside or at least to the tile for easy clean up. ANYhow – on this day, he did manage to silent-barf up the footlong sub and starbursts he had swiped the night before (‘nother story…) – so I could start my day, literally, on the wrong foot.

I really should have gone back to bed…but I didn’t.  They do say, into every life a little rain must fall – and really in the scheme of things I am not complaining – okay just whining a little –  but the day did continue to  unfold in a manner you would only expect from bad sit-com:

  • After cleaned up colorful upchuck, discover a flat tire, and be informed it could not be repaired so I’ll need 4 new tires.
  • Be presented with the fact that my electrician had so butchered my ceiling that i needed $400 in drywall repairs
  • Leave credit card at the cafe where I had a client lunch, drive back and make way home in rush hour
  • Stub toe (I know, but you know, was just…going to happen…)

BUT IT’S GAME DAY.  It was cold, but “football weather.”  Not a particularly major match up, but game day nonetheless. Our team is on a roll this season so it’s always a big game.  Bottom line: I get to watch a Varsity High School game, and the next day, a freshmen football game.  Varsity: win.  Lots of long throws, lots of receptions, lots of cheering.  The freshmen game was on a blissfully sunny, crisp fall Saturday.  Another win!  Oh, and I took my tire for a second opinion that morning and found it was repairable, and it was, wait for it….FREE OF CHARGE!  I cheerfully drove to the freshman game at the school, pull in and wouldn’t you know, a car is pulling out of the closest spot to the field! Rock star parking I like to call it…that first step the day before is just a warm, mushy memory now — LIFE IS GOOD! Thanks football, I really am getting to like you!

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