Tag Archives: youth sports

Aug 06 2015
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Baseball, Life lessons, On the bleachers, What I've learned

The Kids Are Alright

To quote Cher in Moonstruck: “SNAP OUT OF IT.”

As they say: time flies. I think I started this blog quite a few years ago…my boys were in the thick of youth sports and the antics, experiences and observations of coaches, players and parents prompted this blog. I have notebooks, digital reminders, and scraps shoved into file folders with topics for blogs. They’re coming – I promise. But let’s face it: managing a household, a business, a dog and a blog is a challenge. But I love these stories and as you are my witness – I will get back on the blog bandwagon – ’cause really, it’s fun. But I digress.

As I finally take to the keyboard for a long-overdue entry,  I am faced with the joy, angst and reality that one of my own young athletes that inspired these stories is about to head off to college. The sporting life continues though, he’ll be playing baseball as well as stumbling into that wondrous world of quasi-adulthood and psuedo-independence. Exciting times.

He’s not alone of course. Most of his peer group is choosing the same traditional move from high school to a 4-year college. The kids are alright. But there is definitely anxiety, hand-wringing and tears, but not so much the kids. As usual, it’s THE PARENTS.

Don’t get me wrong – clearly this is a milestone for parents too. Especially if it’s your first-born. I mean, I shed a few tears when they trotted across the threshold of Kindergarten (wasn’t that literally yesterday?) and I can assure you I’ll shed a few as I drive away from his dorm two weeks from now.  But the all-consuming angst that seems to be devouring many of my contemporaries seems, well, slightly out of proportion. Kind of similar to say…YOUTH SPORTS PARENTS!

But honestly, can you blame us? We have been in this over-involved lane for more than 10-years now! Can we really be expected to disengage at this point and just be satisfied with the fact that they made a good choice, it’s the right fit, they’re legitimately excited to be starting this new phase of life? No. We cannot. Because it NEEDS TO BE ABOUT US. But hope springs eternal. We can do this. I know it. Say it with me. “We. Can. Do. This!”

So listen – when the big day arrives, hug him a few seconds longer, run through the checklist with her one more time, linger in the dorm room – get a good cry in on the way home. But before that day and after that day please: Snap out if it!

 

 

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Sep 10 2014
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Football, Kids out-of-control, Uncategorized

Of Rice and Men

Screen Shot 2014-09-10 at 3.21.50 PMSo…it’s Ray Rice 24/7. A few weeks ago, when the NFL “updated” their policy on consequences for domestic violence incidents…my friends and I were horrified. Really? SIX games instead of TWO for a first offense, and a ban after a second offense. Really…um because the first time was probably a fluke right? Wait, and pot and booze…like, um, let’s say three games and oh let’s see, how about four games for beer? Heck, they’ll figure it out right?

If the commissioner and owners were judged as parents, I would absolutely not let my kid hang out with their kids. I would classify these “parents” as flaky, permissive, indecisive, and the bottom line: I don’t want my kid influenced by their kid who has questionable, if any, boundaries.

Unfortunately, these “parents'” values and rules are all over the web, the news, and social media. Okay, kudos for outright firing Rice. But, did you know that there are over 20 current NFL Players who have already been charged with domestic violence or assault on a woman? Uh-oh spaghetti-Os…what we gonna do about THOSE kids mom and pop NFL? Yeah, while I am trying to avoid the social media lingo, the only appropriate reply is…wtf?

I don’t know the inner workings of the NFL owners meetings where they come up with the penalties for bad behavior, but I’m going out on a limb here with a thought…beating a woman evidently does not affect your play. Booze, drugs, they might, which is what matters here, right? Cause if my player is high, he might not play well, we might not win, and I might lose out on some cash, some cabbage, cheddar, some scratch. So, let’s make sure we make it painful if “our kids” do THAT. Oh, and, yeah, sets a bad example for the actual kids that worship them too, yeah, there’s that…

I’m not suggesting that our kids think any part of the Rice saga is “okay.”  We are the parents and hopefully they are wired by now to know that hitting someone, especially a man hitting a woman, boy hitting a girl, is not okay. Yet, anyone with kids in grade school through high school has seen the poster or heard/seen on TV or radio the awareness campaign for shaken baby syndrome that ran a few years ago. Right? You’re saying it in your head right now because it was E-V-E-R-Y where: “NEVER, NEVER, NEVER Shake a Baby.” Heck, seems like not shaking a baby was common sense right? Guess not. When did we stop telling our kids that hitting is NOT allowed? Is it time to saturate our schools with a new campaign? Maybe. Maybe it’s time for new posters, radio ads, and TV ads: NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, hit a girl.*  Maybe that campaign should feature the “kids” in a certain major sports organization.
*I know, there are girls who hit boys, and women who hit men. No on that behavior too. For this blog today, we are using the man hits girl example to  make the point, stay with me here…

Figure it out people, and by “people” I mean major league sports, college sports, youth sports… Because you know what? My kids are still not allowed to hang out with those “kids” whose parents aren’t sure how to discipline theirs when they hit somebody.  Which means…maybe I say no on that swag, that jersey, anything with your family “emblem” on it.  Maybe I encourage my friends to do the same…and you know what? That might hurt you where it evidently matters the most.

 

ps: promise a lighter blog post tomorrow…trust me, I got a million of ’em…

 

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Apr 27 2014
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Baseball, high school baseball, Youth Sports

LESS IS MORE

I’m not going to start this entry by apologizing for not blogging for weeks – but, I’m sorry I haven’t had a chance to blog for weeks! The irony is, observing, managing and volunteering for my kids’ collective 4 teams has occupied most of my non-work life over the past few months, arguably generating TONS of content for TFTB! Here’s what has gone down, nutshell version, in the last 45 days: baseball season with new coach who in his real life trains military special ops, winter football workouts with new “dedicated” trainer,  trip with varsity baseball team and parents to AZ (new group for us…), two college visits, two football camps, and a run in with a coach from youth baseball as a high school coach (who used metaphors about boobs as baseballs when he coached my kid in 5th grade ball…)  Yeah, much to catch up on.

In the meantime, my neighbor, we’ll call her Sherry, is on the other end of the spectrum with her son, we’ll call him Joey –  just jumping into the thrill of it all, she sent me a note earlier in the spring:

“Had to write and give you big kudos for having two boys who are in multiple sports.  Today was Joey’s 1st soccer game (1st practice was 3 days prior) and 1st t-ball practice.   After watching the majority “of players” run around without objective and spend more time trying to take their teammates hat, play tag etc- I realized it has to get less comical and exasperating or you would surely be on the funny farm. Here’s hoping I’m not the first to go.”

Ohhhhh, Sherry…. hahahahahaha. That is rich! Did you catch that? “It must get less comical and exasperating..”  Stop, wait…hold on let me just regain control…

I don’t have the heart to tell her that she will really need to seek some sort of crutch, routine, or other, in order to maintain the “it’s not me it’s them” perspective for the next few years. And by next few years I mean, the kid’s in coach pitch baseball, so he’s still got: kid pitch, tryouts, competitive baseball…not to mention juggling the same in both sports – wait, are you adding football or lax to the mix? will he? will his friends? to say nothing of the input that will  inevitably come from Dad…has he weighed in yet on what sports will bring THE OFFERS?  All of this excitement is yet to come.  And this is all before he gets out of middle school. Sherry, you won’t be the first to go to the funny farm – many, many have gone before you, and most are parents on one of my kids’ teams! Cheers!

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photo credit: J-K Photography Parker Colorado. http://www.j-kphotography.net/

 

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Jun 14 2013
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Fan fun, Good sports parent, Nightmare parents, Youth Sports

It’s Simple Really…

So, a great article on what makes a great sports parent, or a nightmare sports parent –  can be found by clicking here from Bruce E. Brown and Rob Miller.

Bottom line?  Ride home (very important.) Get in car, start car, turn to child: ” You know? I love to watch you play!”  Add hug, high five, fist bump, kiss, whatever… then, shut it. What I love about this piece is that they ASKED KIDS…kids who are playing, and “kids” who played…college kids and grads.  Overwhelmingly, kids really just don’t want you to criticize or coach.  Favorite take away: “let them bring the game to you.”  In other words “if I want your advice I’ll ask for it…”

Have fun out there this weekend, and if there needs to be some sort of anonymous “shaming” to keep the nightmare parents in line…drop us a line at TFTB!

@tftbleachers on twitter,OR click to email

 

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Jun 13 2013
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100 games in 100 days, Football, On the bleachers

100 Games in 100 Days: Day 7

Day 7: FOOTBALL!!  So, as high school football goes there are a certain number of practices where the boys can wear the whole get up – and go play sort of real games. Then, during summer, not so much the full get up and no hitting etc.  SO – when the kids get to suit up in early summer for a scrimmage the fanatics get excited.    I’ll have a new perspective this year – I have a kid starting in a position that, well, gets the glory and gets the blame for lots of stuff.  And we know football fans aren’t known for tact, or keeping feelings, umm, bottled up.  Even at our friendly neighborhood scrimmage on my day 7 of 100 I overheard a little of this and a little of that. As a parent, whether the kid is 6, 16 or, I’m guessing 26 (poor Mrs. Tebo…but, she’s got the Big Guy on her side…) your instinct is to do that thing in that one Indiana Jones movie…and you really think you can at that moment, just push your hand-as-claw right through the chest of another human and rip out their beating heart,  hold it up for them to fully comprehend the horror, then laugh maniacally….not sure exactly what I’m supposed to do then, but – am I right?  Anyone? You with me?   Well, you will be…trust me.

On to day 8! (maybe a nice 5-year-old soccer game is in order…)

Careful what you say about my kid...

Careful what you say about my kid…

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Jun 07 2013
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100 games in 100 days, Baseball, basketball, Youth Sports

100 Games in 100 Days – Day 1-5

Day 1.  June 1: Baseball. A harsh loss is dealt to our newly formed summer HS team. New chemistry, new field. And new whiners.  Here’s how it works: HS Baseball season is Spring. Super short. Move to Summer ball through July.  Every year there is a new crop of Freshmen. This year, a few made JV, most made Freshmen team, some got cut. Ouch. Here is another opportunity to observe the tendency for parents to turn a blind eye to a child’s possible short-comings in a particular sport. It should be noted that most kids, whether 5, 15 or 25 roll with it all.  When we refer to Whiners, kooks, freaks and nut-jobs in this blog, we’re pretty much always referring to the parents 😉  We do observe some off-spring that are just real gems from time to time, but in those cases rest assured that you’ll know it’s a pre or just post-pubescent we are talking about…next….

Day 2. June 2nd: Basketball.  Here’s how summer hoops works – you play a couple times a week, usually back to back games.  Unfortunately, Jack decided to really kick off his summer with a day at the pool, followed by running amok, followed by a sleep over at a friends.  Hmm, the walking dead on the court today.  As we say in summer ball…”hey, it’s summer ball.”

Day 3.  June 3rdt: Baseball.  Much better day at the diamond!  Except for one very sad note, big sis home from college shows up with beverages for all – mom promptly shuts that down. Newsflash: playing at High School fields has its drawbacks.  Okay one drawback…yeah, no Red Solo Cupping.  Where is the tiki bar at Steamboat little league fields when you need it?

Day 4. June 4th. Basketball.  We got a howler!  Finally, a game with a crazy mama.  Did I mention that summer hoops is usually a mellow affair? Really just a few weeks of (a lot) of fancy practices – technically tho, games (refs, fans, uniforms, for reals.)  So with that, of course, comes a few that take EVERY performance as to the death, serious, potential college scholarships on the line…hey mama!  So yes, she is getting her whoot whoot on – on one hand thrilling (that spirit resulted in this blog after all) but on the other, extremely out of proportion for the event.  Onward crazy mama, onward.

Day 5.  June 5th. Baseball.  Friend’s youth ball player’s game. T-ball and “coach pitch” – those who are there, and those who have been there – dropped pop ups, running directly from 1st to 3rd, tears, tantrums…love it, funny, super cute right?  Not for the father who has been counting the days for his kid to hit the sand lot…this is NOT cute, this is NOT funny.  You, sir, have a long road ahead – and Mrs. Father?  Batten down the hatches.  On a lighter note, the whole outing was made worthwhile when our neighbor’s boy (not to be confused with crazy dad referenced herein,) after donning an athletic cup for his first time, promptly yanked it out and handed it to mom immediately following the game: “here you go mom.”  “Thanks honey, thank you very much.”  And….there off!

next up FOOTBALL SCRIMMAGE!  (Weird, but I can’t wait…what is happening to me?)

Oxygen anyone? (my kids LOVE that joke!)

Oxygen anyone? (my kids LOVE that joke!)

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Jun 05 2013
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Baseball, Uncategorized Image

If I Could Save Time in an Athletic Cup

If I Could Save Time in an Athletic Cup

Tball to coach pitch to high school…little boys move to High School goin’ out with a bang!

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May 31 2013
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Baseball, basketball, Fan fun, Football

100 Games in 100 Days

So…Schooolzzzzzzzz, OUT! FOR! sumMER!!…..(channel your inner Alice Cooper here…)  And that can mean only one thing right?  Take a deep breath, sit back, and time to relax!

Wrong.

School out of session means MORE TIME FOR SPORTS.  And here’s a new wrinkle..while summer really used to be about just baseball, or lacrosse, or maybe youth soccer season, as you approach middle and high school, it is now not really anyone’s “formal” season…so, obviously that means that it’s EVERYONE’S season. And when I say “everyone” I mean “coaches.”  It’s summer football, summer baseball, and summer basketball, summer LAX…In case you missed the memo: If you have a tee-baller, pop-warner, soccer bunch-baller…or any sort of fun-loving sporty kid ages 5-8, start thinking “year-round sport.”  This trend has now legitimized every coach’s dream of being able to ask your kid to play “their” sport every month of the year. Oh that other sport they usually play in that other season?  “Hey, just, you know, give them equal time this summer.”*

*BS alert

This is fast-becoming one of the classic BS lines a coach will ever utter.  No coach wants you to give equal time to another sport. This statement does not suggest that they will not lay a bit of guilt tripping on you, and your kid.  And who’s to know for sure that there is not a nasty little attendance tracker hidden deep under practice notes on that clipboard of his/hers that will allow them to hold a grudge when the regular season tryouts roll around…

So, in an attempt to keep up, and prepare my loyal readers for their future or, just provide a relatable point of reference as you juggle car pools, schedules, meals and bleacher seats this summer – I am going to track 100 games in 100 days or thereabouts – as such, will also hope to contrast the emotions and enthusiasm of coaches, fans and parents at our variety of venues. Join me?

GAME ON!

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May 29 2013
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Football, On the bleachers

Serious Biz

So..we’ve entered into a whole new phase….I’m talking football, talking High School, I’m talking varsity, I’m talking CAMPS!  I’m talking RECRUTING…I am talking, this is serious biz.

So, I had the pleasure, no really – I was 100% up for this…of escorting my teen-age son to a football camp in beautiful San Diego.  Right?  Beautiful San Diego…I’m thinking spa day, beach reads, maybe even a cabana boy to bring me a cocktail while I wait for the call that camp is over and where are we dining tonight?  Ahhhh….the perfect weekend.  Wow – let me join those of you in-the-know with some out of control hysterical laughter.  Who’s the idiot? Who’s the naive, ignoramus who thinks high school football camps are NOT a full contact parent activity?  Answer: yeah, it’s me.

You, the parent, are expected to sit on a concrete bleacher during the camp and document their every move on film.  Better yet, get as close as possible and videotape the ENTIRE day’s activities. I mean, not sure if “expected” to, is the right turn of phrase, but evidently that is the drill as nearly every parent was equipped with a tripod, high-speed telephoto digital camera, or, of course, the iPad.  Parents, let’s be honest, nothing is more awesome than holding up a 6″ screen in a foot in front of your face for 5 hours in direct sun. Well, not if you’re from Texas anyway..again, EVIDENTLY.

By day two at 2 PM my ass was in such a state of numbness that I asked the trainer to asses the situation. (no this did not humiliate my son. Well, at least it did not humiliate him as much as my inability to throw a football when the parents were called down to get a taste of what their boys were working on…)

Okay YES I filmed my kid, YES my kid was the best and best looking on the field, YES the morning at the beach on Coronado was awesome, YES I did squeeze in a cocktail or two…but I digress.

I’m not sure how I drew this camp, as the boy and his dad will be attending a couple more this summer – and I have a sneaking suspicion that this was the most unique and really low-stress camp there is – but how did I get here? I’m talking Talking Head’s “how did I get here…”  What the hell is going on? College? Recruiting? One minute they’re peeing in their athletic cup in left field on a hot July day, and the next he’s hanging on the words “there is no reason you can’t play in the NFL” from a guy who actually knows something or two about that league.  Am I ready? Is he? But more importantly, do I have the right AV equipment? I clearly don’t have the right gear to camp out at a stadium for two straight days listening to other parents talk about how many offers they got, are getting or are expecting for their little all-star.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure my son got a lot out of this endeavor, not the least of which was that they have really great oysters at the Fish Market on the bay (tip: sit at the oyster bar and ask for Mannie)  Here’s what I learned

  • My hand is too small to adequately throw a football
  • I am afraid to catch a pigskin that is coming at me like a missile
  • I need a better cooler that will fit in my luggage
  • I need a cocktail that resembles Gatorade
  • His dad should accompany him to all future camps, I’ll stick with baseball tournaments where I can rely on a simple red solo cup.
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Oct 03 2012
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Coaches-gone-wild, Fan fun

Coaching Gems

Time to bring back: coaching gems.  Many of these are from days long past..the days when I knew I HAD to start a blog, but instead just kept notes, in a file, for the day I actually pulled the trigger.  That day has come…through “Coaching Gems” I’ll introduce you to some of the greats from our youth sports experience. Names have been changed (or slightly altered for amusement)  to protect the nutbags: Pete Humpden, Mr. JingALing, Matt Madderhorn, Rocko, Coach Chuckles – but also to not avoid the actual good guys (they’re out there, really!)  Coach A, Coach B, Coach L… Feel free to COMMENT and share your own gems – we’ll include whoppers contributed by the new and naive as well (thanks to my peeps out there who just signed their kids up for the inaugural year of bunch ball and t-ball!) Enjoy!

THE DAY MR. JING A LING THREW DOWN

Sport: boys baseball

Player Age: 12

Situation: The Rebels are in league playoffs, tensions are high.

Backgrounder and run up: Logically, there has been ego clashing in this dugout for months.  One coach fancies himself the Dr. Phil of coaching: observant Svengali of young boys’ struggles with the game.  Not sure what the other boys actually thought, but my son (in private of course) gave the big eye-roll anytime Mr. Jing A Ling approached.  However, most of the boys went along. No biggie right? Well, the head coach, Madderhorn, didn’t like the idea of being undermined or out-adored by another coach.  Today, of course, was  not the day to threaten Coach Mad’s ego…big game and all.  Anywho, Jing-A-Ling did pull a kid aside to you know, magically inspire him out of his slump. Sadly, this was ill-timed as everyone knows that you don’t want to pull a kid out of the grounder warm up rotation!

Resulting Gem: Coach Mad: “hey Jing-A-Ling, what the hell are you doing? We’ve got 10 minutes to game time?”  Coach Jing: “Can it Madderhorn, I’m fixing what you can’t fix.”  Coach Mad, slam practice bat to the ground, march authoritatively towards Jing…come VERY close to the chest bumb…” Really Jing-A-Ling?  What is that supposed to mean?”  And…wait for it…..Jing replies, no, screams….(love the build up…) “I COULD KICK, YOUR, ASS MADDERHORN AND BEEN JUST WAITIN TO DO IT!”   Whoooo whooooooooooo!  Parents and 12-year olds watch in awe as chests bump, nostrils flare, cheeks flush….What will happen?  is this funny or sad? Have they both finally lost it? Will someone throw a punch?

Of course not. We’re not THAT cray cray…not today. Ump intervenes. Coaches tossed. Game starts – another day at the ball park!

I am going to….

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