Tag Archives: youth sports

Dear High School Football, I love you

Dear High School Varsity Football, I love you – today at least.

Okay, so, it was a blast – I’ll admit it – sitting at the varsity football game, wedged between the band and the student section. A perfect fall evening with the sun setting over the Colorado foothills…yes, I was secretly hoping for some deplorable antics from parents or a streaking student – maybe I can catch it on video for TFTB…I mean, you, my faithful groundfloor followers – you DESERVE that! But all I can say is I was practically giddy. There’s my kid – dressed for Varsity, the energy, the good/cute as well as the  REALLY bad choices in fan-wear (seriously mom, something in between the beefy Tee and the tight tank next time?…), the lack of booze, the cross-section of parents (so what if I had to move due to over cologned fan, oh he’s just divorced? shocker…) united in a common quest – I mean, what can compare to this slice of life? (surreal, surprising, exhilarating? Where am I?)

Listen – I was not the rah-rah student when I was in HS. Sports were not really that rah-rah – or so it seemed in the early 80’s. I was not a cheerleader, a pom, a flag..I was a sort of athlete – sort of a party girl – but that’s another story…it’s that journey that’s transformed me I guess – there is just something about traveling the road of youth sports – from soccer bunch ball to tee ball to suddenly finding yourself soaking it all up at the High School level. And as much I hate to admit it..the whole gridiron thing, under the lights, it has a vibe that doesn’t compare to an afternoon at the baseball field or evening at the field house. This is where we start our love affair with arguably the most dangerous and violent sport on the planet…c’mon, have a sip of the kool-aid…it’s Friday – I’m sure there’s lights blazing somewhere near you in a few hours – I dare you! Try to hate it, try, just try, not to love it.

But dear football, remember, we are fickle. You hurt my boys?  You know what they say about that thin line between love and hate, the wrath of an angry woman all that?…

GO CHARGERS!

FIGHT.

WIN…

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Gameday Meltdown

What is the absolute worst thing that can happen to a teen in his formative years?  Let’s set the stage: school has just started (sophomore year), so, in fact, has football season, and he’s beyond excited to be starting JV and also, dressing for Varsity!   It’s game day – first Varsity game.  Hmm, what could go wrong?  What could cause him to be tested in terms of his friends, his teachers, his coach, the team…?  What and how will his grace under pressure be tested today…

Really, let yourself really go back and try to recall the myriad of things that could be “the absolute worst day of your teenage life…” – a breakup? a breakOUT? braces? failing your drivers test? switching schools? farting in class??  Ha, please. These pale in comparison to the pressure cooker that was our house on Thursday morning.

Wake, spend extra time choosing shorts, socks, and shoes (that’s another story…what’s with the boys and the shoes all of a sudden.)  Amble downstairs where, of course a balanced breakfast of protein, carbs, fats and OJ.  Pay no attention to clock (in our house time waits for all men)  Well, time to head out – let me just go grab my game day jersey.. (ahh, I’m a Varsity football player…)  Umm Houston, we have a problem…..WHERE…. IS…MY… VARSITY. JERSEY……???!!!???

Initially, the parents reverted to an oft-played out scene in our (and yours I’m sure) household – “well, hmm, that would be your responsibility/where did you leave it last?/well no surprise your room is a pig sty/if I’ve told you once to keep track of your stuff I’ve told you…..”  He is not hearing us, his eyes are wild, his face is flushed, “it’s gone, it’s gone, Oh, My, God – no, it’s not here….”  Here we go again – my kids know my saying in these situations “It will turn up, everything always does.” When he turns on me – I NEED IT NOW!!!  AND IT’S GONE!!!  I am about to react in my usual, disciplined way: scream even louder back at him. But wait – I pulled my husband aside – this is big – think about it: he is 15, the potential for disenfranchisement (whole team is wearing jersey at school) the humility (my first V-squad game and I won’t have a jersey..) the confrontation with authority (telling coach…)

To say our son was unhinged was putting it lightly. You could literally see him running each awful scenario in his mind…sitting in class w/out his jersey, not being associated with his “tribe,” his coach’s perception of him changing from competent to irresponsible, the potential mocking from Juniors and Seniors..his friends who know he’s the next big thing maybe seeing him NOT in the varsity jersey.”I am screwed” (yeah, you kind of are.) “You are NOT, calm down and don’t use crude language!” (bringing back all my own anxieties from sophomore year at an all girls catholic school…so glad I’m not you right now..)”You can not lose your mind this way when something bad happens pull yourself together!” (this is bad, not good, bad.)

Stay calm, I thought, as we got into the car before another potential travesty could occur (being late for first period!  I have a very conscientious kid…)  “Let’s just do the thing – think…last time you took it off”…He was reengaged…”At the scrimmage, I put it in a string bag”…(oh, we only have 189 of those and they are spread throughout the house and garage but) “Go on…”  “I got my pants out of it this week…it’s in the garage! It has to be, or somewhere in the house (great)…” He calls dad – a massive house hunt ensues, his younger brother is wrestled out of bed.  Younger brother: “oh, it’s in my room – someone put it in my laundry….why didn’t somebody just get me up” (this one is of a different spirit than his brother…)  Dad calls son as we pull into the school parking lot with the good news and his assurance he will get the jersey to him before second period. (the proud dad of a sophomore on varsity is perfectly willing to move his schedule to avoid son’s humiliation…living vicariously, maybe.)

Blood pressure slows, heart beat returns to normal, 15-yr old experiences post “flight/fight” body response.  I take full advantage of that — teaching moment right? “Wow, you handled that GREAT!  Lot’s of character there…I hope you learned from this…you need to keep track of your stuff….next time you….” Do you think he heard me over the ringing in his 15-yr old head?  Hopefully next crisis involves a runaway zit. That, is manageable.

This is not a jersey. It’s so, so much more…

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Geared up for Gridiron!

Okay – I am renewing my commitment to THIS BLOG! There is so much content out there…I have been letting down my loyal followers – not to mention the outrageous antics of parents is already beginning with a new and improved 8th Grade segregated team…born of our greatest 7th grade rivals! Stay tuned my followers, you won’t be disappointed…

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A Unique perspective on Parents on-a-rant…

Boys of Summer

So…somehow TFTB got wind of the email chain below. LOVE THE PERSPECTIVE of the unknowing, single, student who received this mass email…and even better, her response!

LONG READ BUT WORTH IT! (names have been changed to protect the off-balance…)

Hello everyone,

I have no idea who any of you are, how you got my email address, and who my apparent child is that is on this baseball team. I live in Kentucky… I’m a medical student… and I have no children, so how I ended up on this list is beyond my comprehension. I will say, however, that I have truly enjoyed the banter, especially the immaturity that the Bart’s possess.

Reading these emails, I think that the entire team would be best off if Willie Bart quit the team and found a team who welcomes those who like to bite other children and have overbearing parents that like to make a huge deal out of something that is supposed to be FUN for the children. I get it, you all are really into baseball, but honestly this is ridiculous and I am completely on the side of Coach S. If your boys lost the game… why would they get a game ball? You lost. Why would you want a ball to remember that by? Giving out game balls for every game demotivates the children. They can’t be babied forever and need to start growing up.

From what I understand, Mr. S  is a VOLUNTEER coach. He has no children playing on in the league, but he still offers his time on several occasions throughout the week. Why? Not for the petty bickering from the Bart’s, but because he loves the game and enjoys coaching the children (I’m assuming). I also understand that he now has a job which cuts into the time he can spend coaching your children. But it also seems like there are 2 other coaches who are there. So… why does it matter if he is a little bit late to practice sometimes due to work.. as long as there is at least one coach there who cares! I agree with what Mr. S said as to if Mr. and Mrs. Bart want to be so involved and tell him how to coach his team then perhaps they should be the ones coaching and not sitting on the sidelines judging and causing drama. These are 8-11 year old boys, just let them play baseball and stop interfering!

Also, the fact that the Bart’s have been forwarding all of these personal emails to an entire list of people (who perhaps I am not the only one who shouldn’t even be on the list) is irresponsible and immature. If they have an issue with an individual they need to discuss it in private with that individual, not the entire team. I don’t blame Coach S for resigning as I would have done the same thing if I had to deal with Mom and Keith as much as he does. Not only have they stirred up unnecessary drama but they have broadcasted this to the rest of the parents, making things awkward for all of those involved.

Mr. S – I wish you the best and hope you are able to coach for a team who truly appreciates your hard work and dedication.

Bart’s – please find something better to do with your time.

Thank you.

On Tue, May 29, 2012 at 12:50 AM, wrote:

To All ~

Hi all I normally would never get involved in any of this, but unfortunately I feel the need to defend my husband.  First, please understand coaches are volunteers they give up time with their families and love ones to coach because they LOVE this game.  My husband does not do because we have kids but because he loves the game.  He is a competitor, not a coach who feels every child should get a ribbon just because but because by the end they are a better person and athlete!  He believes every child has a talent and believes in developing that talent, and there are 10,000 ways to teach it.  My husband could not be at every game or practice on time simply because of work constraints.  My husband was laid off and out of work when he signed up to coach.  After he got the coaching job he was offer a position at work.  At this job he can only take certain days not others, and has relied on his assistants who have been awesome!!  My husband and his assistants have taken a team who the league placed in the WRONG DIVISION and have them giving teams who have been playing together for two years together a run for their money.  I understand the frustration of some parents…losing is not fun.  PLEASE REMEMBER PARENTS THESE COACHES HAVE FAMILIES TOO!  It’s easy to criticize the coaches, but they are giving up their time and families to help your children.  They want them to succeed not to fail.  They know the talent is there with the kids.  It’s knowing your kids can get an A but bring home a D.  My husband is a man who loves the games and enjoys teaching it.  He has gone home losing nights and EVERY TIME he has said I need to do this, or just said what am I doing wrong.  You may not hear it but he does.  If he is wrong he writes an email like a couple of weeks ago and apologizes.  I just hope you all remember the next coaches are volunteers and are doing the best they can with what a league gives them with a situation.  Thank you to all the parents.  I hate blame games my family knows we have made mistakes, but I hope some out there will learn from theirs like we will from ours.

Thank you and God Bless,

Wife of Coach S

On May 28, 2012, at 10:05 PM

Coach S,

That is fine, send that to the director. I had truly hoped you would handle this without trying to hurt Willie. He has done nothing wrong and I am truly offended by your behavior.

As far as that incident with Willie allegedly biting another child, my husband was there that day we have documented our account of the event.

I would advise you to stop replying, I believe you are only digging yourself into a deeper hole.

Mom Bart

From: “Coach S S”

To:

Sent: Monday, May 28, 2012 9:43:12 PM

Subject: Re: Concern, please address immediately

I will also be notifying the league about your son biting another child, again, thanks for your response to my e-mail regarding that.  I guess I need to let the league know.

On May 28, 2012, at 9:25 PM, wrote:

Coach S,

This has nothing to do with my understanding of the game. You have no idea what my history is, or if my husband and I have coached or played in the past.

This has everything to do with defending my son, and the other boys. They do not deserve to be treated the way you treated them yesterday.

If you do not feel the need to address this, then I would suggest you step down from your position. Since you are “only a volunteer” it should be no problem. I believe the other coaches will step up and take care of the boys.

Your reply will be forwarded to the other parents and the league directors.

Thank you for your time,

Mom

 From: “Coach S

To: MOM

Sent: Monday, May 28, 2012 9:12:43 PM

Subject: Re: Concern, please address immediately

Hello,

Thank you for the time you took to write this.  As a volunteer, I am hired by the league to coach a team.  These are my coaching tactics and my decisions.  I have had nothing but disrespect from a select few parents and I don’t appreciate your tone.  Take it up with the league, I don’t have to deal with this line of questioning.  Why don’t you and your husband coach the team and see where they would be.  I have outside things going on that are taken care outside.  You don’t need to know who or why I am late to practices.  I have a job that doesn’t let me out in time.  So take you comments to the league, you don’t deserve to be addressed by me.  How about you take the team over, I’ve had enough of parents that know nothing about the game or discipline.  Don’t talk to me about game balls for losses, give them out yourself if you

feel that they deserve it.  I have never met any less grateful people in all of my life, you want it, you got it, I’m done with you disrespectful people.  Take me off of your e-mail list because you will be blocked in the future.  Call the league tomorrow and go cry to them.  Go find someone that will put up with your attitude and lack of understanding of the game.  Peace.

Coach S

On May 28, 2012, at 8:39 PM

Coach S,

I am sending this email because I can no longer hold my comments back. This is in no way a complaint against the assistant coaches. I am not speaking for any of the other parents as well. I am voicing my concerned strictly based on what my husband and I have witnessed.

I am upset about how yesterdays loss was handled by you. The comment you made after the end of the game, about how the boys are going to learn how to close a game and there would be no game balls. Heres the quotes…”hurry up guys, get your things picked up quick, Tuesday, next practice, we’ll learn how to close out a game.”  No response from anyone. “What you forgot how to answer too?!…ahhhhaa ahhhha!” and when one player asked about the gameball, the response was “No gameballs!”…”No!..I didn’t say I didn’t have any gameballs, I said no one is getting any gameballs!” Then you left without a team huddle which you just announced a few weeks back would become the norm after each and every game. These words indicate to me that you blame the boys 100% for the loss and are taking no responsibility for your part in the loss. If I hadn’t been so stunned by your comments, I would have said something right there.

After the game the boys were obviously upset and your words were belittling and boarder line abusive. This is uncalled for and inappropriate. After talking with my husband, we believe the boys and the parents deserve an apology from you at the next practice. A good way to handle any loss is to

congratulate on the positives and discuss the negatives. There were positive things that happened during yesterdays game, but you did not appreciate that the boys did their best. What needs to be analyzed is what broke down, including the decisions you made as the coach.

I can certainly tell you that my son will NOT play for a coach who treats his team  in this manner. If you believe this is how the game yesterday should have been handled, I will take my son to play baseball elsewhere. I also believe there needs to be an opportunity for the parents to air any concerns they have. There has been very little communication coming from you, except what has been necessary. I do not believe there has been an effort on your part to cultivate any type of relationship with myself or my husband.  An opportunity for the parents to have an open discussion with you may be needed.

I am also aware of how prompt you tend to be to all practices and games. I feel that is it is disrespectful of the boys, the parents and assistant coaches that you are late, to every event. There has been no communication from you at any point when you will be late. I believe you have missed so much practice time, I am not sure how you could accurately assess the boys and their capabilities.

My last concern is with the sending of this complaint. I worry that my son will be ostracized by you, if he isn’t already because of the complaint we have already made to the director earlier in the season. I myself have played on a team with a coach who did it to me, and I know what it looks like. Please leave the boys out of this matter and deal directly with us parents.

Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter. I look forward to seeing you at practice tomorrow.

Mom Bart

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